on black

I know it's been a while since I wrote.
That's okay. Things have been rather busy here.

I've come to the realisation in the last few months that I feel better wearing black, at least on my top half.

This seems boring, and I have fought it for years, I love bold colours, and for some reason I feel guilty if I'm only ever wearing black, but I feel most comfortable and confident if I am in black.

This also opens up better ideas for me for buying/making new clothes: I can be as adventurous as I like with my bottom half (bold colours skirts, for example) and they'll always look fine with a plain black top. I can focus on buying different basics for my top in black, knowing I'll be happy to wear them and feel good wearing them.

So I feel like I'm making progress with working out my personal style. Now all I need to do is get a few more items so I've got more than two options, and maybe look forwards to summer, I'll need some more black tees. But it's not warm enough for that yet, so I've got time :)


...in other news, my ethics proposal in currently under consideration and my 'confirmation event' (read: 20min presentation on what I'm doing for my PhD) is next week.

...and Miss S is now 5 and has thoroughly enjoyed her first week of school.

Keeping ticking

So Friday was yesterday. This week seems to have gone by really fast. Last week was really slow, so I'm caught a little off guard.

I haven't managed any exercise, for two weeks (or was that three?).

I have kept plodding with my PhD, some days better than others. I'm getting my confirmation document into order, but will need to start thinking about the presentation to go with it soon. Probably best to start that before Miss S is on holiday.

I STILL haven't managed to do any sewing. I've had sore wrists and been tired whenever the chance might have come up, so have gone to bed with a book early a few nights, and generally been keeping the washing ticking over and such instead. Soon. My crafty soul needs some making soon.

What I've learnt in June

Emily over at Chatting at the Sky is having a fun and serious link-up about "What I've learnt in June" today and I thought I'd join in.

1. I can cope with my daughters without assistance better than I thought.
The Hubster had some hard work to get down this month, which left me fielding the kidlets, and I managed surprisingly well. This means that I can feel freer to do things without him and to encourage him to go where he needs to go and do what he wants to do (youth ministry conference coming up for example?).

2. If I keep plodding, work gets down. (But when I don't plod it can be sitting waiting for weeks!)
PhD work has been plodding, and progressing slowly, but I still have a pair of pjs cut out and waiting to be sewn.

3. Marking can be hilarious, as well as incredibly boring.
Okay, so I knew this already, but I've been doing more undergrad marking, and some of the things that pop up had me laughing out loud. Other bits had me facepalming and losing faith in humanity, at least until I was laughing again or came across a really good essay.

4. Sometimes the littlest things can really matter at the same time as them not mattering at all.
Case in point: "We are made in His image" vs. "We are made in God's image" - no difference, but all the difference in the world.

5. Printing out documents and reading them on paper gives me a very different perspective on them and I find it easier to edit.
Not tree-friendly, but I console myself by the backs becoming free-for-drawing for Miss S or recycling. And then more PhD work gets done (and this is good).

6. Fires are awesome (and messy).
Winter has set in, with days in a row being less than 10 degrees, so we are enjoying our fire - it makes the house so cosy! But there is always more dusting and tiny bits of wood scattered around the place.

7. An old familiar book that hasn't been read in a while is a great comfort when you fall into bed tired at the end of the day. You know you're not missing out when you find yourself half-snoozing through your reading, but it's still a good read.

8.Sometimes the most profound things we learn from babies who cannot even move around or talk for themselves: Sometimes you have to let go before you can grasp something new. (Oh, and Miss A is amazing, sitting by herself and being generally gorgeous.)

9. We have far more computer power cords than we will ever need.
I've made a small start on sorting and reboxing (and throwing away) things stored in our garage. First box accessible was the Hubster's cord box. I'm not even halfway through and I've found around 5 computer power cords and 3 old printer-to-USB cords (the type that aren't used anymore).

So what have you learned in June? From the ridiculous to the mundane to something seriously profound...

A week... passes

It's Friday again, and I don't feel like I have much to report, not today anyway. It is cold and I am tired.

The weekend was good, I got some good sewing done which I'm working on a post about specifically.

Tuesday night the Hubster was out, so I spent the evening in front of the tv cutting out Miss S's next pair of pjs. (Was that really only this week?)

Wednesday, Miss A decided to try sitting by herself, and got increasingly good at it through the day, until she decided that her toes looked more interesting. I had some wheat over the weekend and she's been rather spilly this week because of it, but it has gradually been lessening. Lots of bibs and washing done. Last night she had trouble sleeping due to a blocked nose, so I'm rather tired now.... zzzz

We got the highchair out of the garage and gave it a clean, and then I've been working on a seatbelt for it, as Miss S used to always slip down in it, so would like Miss A to be able to avoid that if we can. I managed to figure out how it might work, and dug around in my notions collection for some clips and stuff from a deceased backpack, then went and bought some strapping. With a little bit of sewing we'll have an adjustable seatbelt for it, then Miss A can start sitting up with us for meals and be out of reach of our food (which she keeps trying to grab when she sits in laps).

I've done some little bits of PhD work, not nearly as much as I should have done, but forward progress is better than none. Made some contacts and am starting to get my confirmation report into shape.

I should be spending today doing exam marking, and that means a trip out to uni with a baby, because I'm not allowed to take the exam papers off campus. I went out yesterday but, because it is an extramural paper, there weren't many there to be marked yet. A got an email about an hour after I had left saying there was now another 50 there.  Sigh. Maybe I'll go out after Miss A has had a decent nap.

I'll to try work on a more exciting post (with pictures!) later tonight while the Hubster is out at youth group, if the girls sleep, that is.  Yawn. I might need a nap.

A belated reflection

So I managed to miss my Friday round-up, but it was a very wearying week, so I was struggling to think.

We've had a friend staying with us while he tries to find a place to live, and finally moved out last Friday. (When I say moved out, he's been sleeping in his van in our garage for the last two weeks.) I was somewhat surprised by how much it has worn me out, cos it didn't feel too bad during, but post- I am rather knackered.

Then the Hubster's sister came to visit Saturday evening and we stayed up late talking (read: midnight). Opps.

Saturday I managed to finish the pj top to go with the star footsie pj pants, and despite only adding length, Miss S seems to be swimming in it a bit. Maybe they'll last two winters.

I've got some fabric for a second pair, but I have cut out Miss A some woolly singlets from some old merino tops of mine (that are coming apart at the seams but the fabric is otherwise fine) that I'll make up first.

This week I've managed to get a bit of PhD work done, not a lot, but keeping things moving at least. I've been discussing with my supervisors my confirmation event which will happen at the end of July  (showing that I've done work over the first 12mths of PhD enrollment by doing an oral presentation and giving a proposal/report to supervisors and 'confirmation panel'). So I need to get working on that. The report can mostly be a pulling together of various bits I have around the place. And then the oral presentation will be based on my critical literature review and research proposal.

I've managed two walks this week (none last week), even one in the rain cos I just needed the exercise. So I'm managing to keep that happening a bit, not as much as I would like, but that seem to be a theme at the moment.

More about another little bit of sewing in another post.

Footsies!

This week seems to have been much more productive than the last.

I have emailed both my ethics application and my current-form-of critical literature review to my supervisors. Feeling like I'm starting to get somewhere.

I finished the first pair of footsie pj pants for Miss S, and she is super happy. Wearing them to bed tonight (after wearing them around all afternoon since I finished them).

(The colour matches nicely with this skirt I made her for Christmas last year, edged with a scrap of fabric left over from the first shirt I ever made her dad.)

They seem to have plenty of length for her to grow, so might manage to last her two winters.

I cut out the matching top last night and managed to sew the shoulder seams this afternoon before Miss A woke from a nap and I had to stop.

I didn't manage to go for any walks this week, it's been a chilly week, and I've been getting over a cold, so didn't feel like going out and making my nose run even more. I did manage an ab workout yesterday. But generally lots of early nights and a lack of enthusiasm for being too active.


Aims for next week?

Get a couple of emails related to my PhD sent.

Be a bit more active.

I think I'd like to start tackling a new section of PhD work, do something a bit different while I wait for feedback about the bits currently with supervisors.

My parents are visiting on their way home from long-weekend-travels on Tuesday/Wednesday, so that might keep me busy a little, and Miss S is home from kindy on Monday, so we'll see how we go.

A slow week, but well measured

Friday.

Hmmm.

It's beautifully sunny today.

But it's been a slow week, slow working week anyway, not much progress anywhere.

Despite not doing much I've still be rather sore, which doesn't help the inspiration.

Chipping away slowly on a couple of things.

I'd rather be sewing though.

I traced off Miss S's current pjs, and took a few dozen measurements (some I needed, some on request), so I should be able to upsize and alter it quickly enough. Maybe I'll do some of it this evening while The Hubster is out.

I'm off to do a little sewing to try and make myself feel better. I'll aim to get more done next week. Meet you back here on Monday for some goals, perhaps?

Friday round-up

So it's Friday again. I meant to write this this morning (and hopefully motivate myself to get things done today) but it never managed to happen.

Right now dinner is cooking, Miss S is playing with fridge magnets, Miss A (who is tired but refusing to take a nap) is on my lap making cute noises at the computer, and The Hubster is out at youth group 35mins away.

So I haven't really managed to do anything today. My wrists are rather sore and I've been feeling a bit down, probably because I'm sore and not getting anything done.

So what Have I done this week?

Marked 13 assignments (2 to go).
Amalgamated two half-written essays into one (this still needs work, but it's starting to get some flow).
Done a little more on my ethics app, but am waiting to hear back from my supervisors about my interview questions.
Researched possible free-txt options for potential participants to contact me through.
Knitted another row on my hat, only to find I've not got enough yarn to do another row, let alone the five or six more I need to finish it.
Cut out another pair of trackpants for Miss A and a vest for Miss S (though discovered Miss S needs some new pjs more than anything, and wants some with feet).
Attempted to read my overdue library book which someone has put a hold on so I can't renew it.
The Hubster and I visited the school Miss S will be starting at in September.
I went for one walk (I had planned 3, but that didn't happen) and did two 5min ab workouts.

So maybe it has been a busy week after all. (justified tiredness?)

So next week?

Finish all the marking (there were possibly some late ones coming in).
Work more on the essay, perhaps even manage to get it to a stage where I might be able to show my supervisors.
Follow-up the free-txt thing.
I need to write a little bio thing for an article I'm getting printed within the psych department (I have NO idea what to include).
And maybe rest my wrists enough so that I can do some sewing. That would be nice.

... later in the evening, because I still haven't managed to finish this...
Miss S is negotiating with me about how long til bedtime. I said 10mins, she said she'd rather have 6. I agreed, but then she replied 'no, no, no, 7 minutes, no, 8 minutes!' 'Sure, darling.' :)

A busy week of bits and pieces

So it's Friday again. I think it has been a good week. At least I Feel like I've been getting things done.
I meant to do a wordless Wednesday post of our ant graveyard, but it didn't happen.

Miss S has been back at kindy, which I'm sure has been good for us all.

Miss A seems to be teething, so a bit crotchety round the edges and wanting to chew on fingers lots, but otherwise doing well. I took her out to uni on Wednesday for a bit of show and tell with my supervisors, lecturers, and some study friends.

I've managed to make good progress on my ethics application, most of the 18 pages are now filled out. And I've done some writing work trying to bash out a literature review/article-y thing.

I've also managed to do four mystery shops this week, which was a few too many, but I forgot I had agreed to the first two when I agreed to the second two. Did two on Monday, had to dress up all flash for one of them which was fun. Then finally got around to doing the other two today.

I managed to finish a second pair of trackpants for Miss A last weekend, though they're a bit big for her, but I suppose it keeps her feet (completely) warm for now, and she'll grow. And I finished sewing bias-binding around the edge of a muslin square for breastfeeding in public with, to make it a bit prettier and layering two layers of muslin together. I decided to handsew it, knowing it would take longer, but it gave my hands something to do while watching tv, you know, cos I have no other handcraft work going at the moment.So that's two things crossed off my crafting list this week! I'm trying very hard to resist writing anything new on there until I have finished it all, the list is rather long and is a mix of machine sewing, hand sewing, and knitting.

So what's my plan for the next week?
Get my ethics application closer to finished. This involves going and talking to people I don't know, so it might take a bit of effort, I'm not so keen on doing that.
I'd also like to get my writing a bit closer to one thing, rather than a random mash-up of two or three. Serious editing required.
And I'd like to make some more progress on my handcraft list, just one more thing done would be nice, but we'll have to see how I go, whether I can get anything done at all.

The weather is getting more autumnal, and I'm enjoying watching the colours of the leaves change during the day and getting cozy by the fire in the evenings.

A week's reflection

So it's Friday.

I've been vaguely thinking that a blog post each Friday looking back at the week that's been might be a good thing. But I'm not sure anything much has happened this week.

Miss S has been on holiday from kindy, so home all the time, making things rather chaotic. She's mostly been good and happy, but so very very busy. I swear she doesn't stop moving or talking from the moment she wakes until she falls asleep. Back to kindy next week, though she's getting pretty ready for school, but not 5 til September.

I've started back into PhD work, but only slowly, easing my way in, working on some to-do lists with very small pieces (the sort of small that can get done within a baby cat-nap). I managed to get another row or two done on my hat, but now I'm getting worried I won't have enough yarn left to finish it. And considering I started it about 5 years ago, I doubt I'd be able to find any more, I don't even have a label of what it was.

We are all better, though Miss A had immunisations today, so we might have a bumpy night. She is growing beautifully, starting to recognise her hands and be deliberate about moving them and grabbing things.

I think it might be a night for curling up in bed early with my book, but I had best sort the washing out first.

Returning to study and a finished thing

So today I have officially returned to full-time PhD study, and I am yet to spontaneously combust with anxiety. Didn't get a great deal done, but I've made a start, and a to-do list to help me keep going. First up is getting my ethics proposal done, I'm wanting to interview people about some delicate topics, so I need permission, and there's lots of little things that need to be included in the ethics application, so I'm going to work my way through them.

I also managed to go for a walk with Miss A both yesterday and today (just a short ones). It was lovely to get out and moving in the sunshine (and cool wind). Probably good for me too.

Over the weekend I managed to finish the first of Miss A's trackpants, and they fit her beautifully, with room to grow. And I love the bright blue.

They're a very simple style, but very cozy and cute, and easy to sew. There's elastic in the waistband, but the cuffs are just a tighter band of fabric. The second pair is half sewn, sitting beside me waiting to be finished. Soon.

Oh the sickness.....

I was all mentally prepared on Thursday night to write a post last Friday. Except that I woke up sick. Like head fuzzy, throat sore, feverish, no voice, type sick. Then Saturday I was worse. And Sunday no better. Monday showed some slight signs of improvement, along with a visit to my doctor. And today I'm feeling almost like I might be nearly nearly-better. Not nearly-nearly like closer than nearly, but nearly nearly as in nearly up to being nearly. Clear as mud? Or my brain over the weekend?

So the last week and a bit hasn't exactly been productive.
No sewing done.
No exercise done.
No housework... ok scratch that, it doesn't get done often enough even when I'm well.
No planning for my return to my PhD.
Not even very much reading. I was that out of it.

I did manage to finish my marking last Thursday, which was good. And my parents came to visit on Saturday, which was awesome! Nothing like your mum being there when you're sick, even when you're grown up. They even took away Miss S for an hour or two in the afternoon (I'm not being vague, I really have no idea how long it was) to visit her other grands while the Hubster and I zoned out.

And of course now that I'm getting better, the Hubster is getting worse again. Hopefully whatever this viral bug thingy is will go away and leave us all alone soon.

So the plan for the last little bit of the week?

Field the girls a bit more so the Hubster can rest (it's holidays so Miss S is home all day too, and it's boring with Mum and Dad being sick so we can't do anything).
Try to at least finish the first pair of pants for Miss A, they only have the cuffs left to do.
Write a bit of a plan for getting back into my PhD, ease my way in.
Try not to spend toooooo much time exploring the journey and adventures of Gertie's vintage sewing over here: www.blogforbettersewing.com

Hope your last week has been better than mine. Onward!

Embracing motherhood

I'll say it straight out, I'm somewhat apprehensive about going back to fulltime PhD work on 1st May, but I'm doing some marking this week, so it's on my mind. Miss A will only be 3 months old and, unlike when I first became a mother four and a half years ago, I'm actually enjoying it and wanting to be with my baby.

With Miss S it was somewhat a relief to return to fulltime study when she was 6 months old. She had really bad silent reflux which was only just coming right after diet changes for me, and had long hated lying down as it made her uncomfortable and so therefore we didn't get much sleep. And I had No Idea what I was doing. I'm not really a natural baby or kid person. I had (pre- and) postnatal depression and really struggled with anxiety. So despite having to then express milk every break I got at uni, it was nice to get some semblance of normality and time to myself, and to have space to think about new things.

This time around I am much more confident in what I am doing. We've changed my diet straight away to help with the reflux (and the fact that we knew what to look for with reflux, or what reflux even was certainly helped!) and she's usually only waking once in the night for a feed. Daytime I'm much happier to go adventuring with baby (it helps that I can feed her Not Lying Down, like I still was with Miss S at this stage), and we invested in a good baby carrier to help things. She'll only catnap most days and want milk more often than I might like, which can lead to us all being rather tired by mid-afternoon when Miss S (who is endlessly busy and chatty) comes home from kindy. But she's usually good at getting herself off to sleep, which is such a relief after Miss S who would only sleep when upright.

I'm planning to work as much as I can from home, especially during kindy hours ;) but I'm really finding myself actually embracing motherhood, rather than just being a mother, this time around. So I'd like to somehow manage a more working-from-home style balance to things. I mean, I'm happy to express milk, but it takes large amounts of time and really hurts my wrists doing it constantly, so if I can do this less (or at least delay it) I'll be better able to do other things, like crafting which also kills my wrists but is so emotionally rewarding that it is worth the pain and then some, at least to a point.

At the moment the only problem with going back to fulltime work is, well, umm, the work, fitting it in during sleeps (which are far too short at the mo) and around cuddles. There's always things that need doing (or are maybe just preferable) at home. I might end up spreading my "40hr working week" over into evenings and weekends a little.

Speaking (typing?) of doing work, I should get back to my marking.

A return

I've been thinking of reawakening my blog.

It's been a long time, but I feel like it might be a good thing to have a place to set goals and share the things I manage to get done.

I'm in quite a different place to a few years ago when I was last around here, but in some ways still similar, echoes of the past. I've had another baby and am about to be back full-time studying, and as ever I am trying to fit more crafting into my life while balancing the fact that crafting causes me pain (lack of crafting also causes me pain, but emotional/psychological rather than physical).

So goals for the next month/wee while?
1. do a little bit of something crafty every day. I have long skirts to make, clothes for Miss S (who's now 4!!), a bit of knitting that has been waiting to be finished for a few years that I am determined to get done.
2. Take photos more, of said craftiness, baby Miss A, not-baby Miss S, and other things that catch my eye.
3. My book pile is growing rather than being kept up with, so I want to be a bit more deliberate about it.
4. AND there's that pesky PhD to work on ;) Might do another post of goals for that one. Though I'm not officially back into it till 1 May, I'd like to be able to ease my way in.

To help enable number 1, I've got my sewing machine sitting out all the time, with the laptop away, instead of the previously usual other way around, though bits and pieces still need to be put away from curious little hands.

Another thought of getting back into blogging is to get myself writing more, even just blog posts, and to help myself 'think on paper/keyboard' again which will help my PhD writing.

We'll see how we go :)

neglected

My blog's been rather neglected this year, I've felt so busy with uni and motherhood. It's been a hard year and it's crazy that it's nearly over - exams in a week and a half. I've struggled this year, struggled to find time to relax, time to do hobbies I enjoy, time to try and remember who I am and who I'm trying to become. Some days I just carry on because that's all I know how to do. Miss S has been a wonderful blessing and joy in my life, an amazing bright spot in a world which sometimes seems too dark.

yesterday

I had a pretty good day yesterday, despite having my second of four exams. While wandering around uni wasting time before my exam I saw two baby swans, a beautiful soft and fluffy grey, happily waddling around with their parents.
After my exam was over and I was walking back to my car, a beautiful tui (native NZ bird) sang to me from the top of an almost naked tree.
On the drive home I saw a van painted with the following slogan that made me laugh aloud:

"I followed the road less travelled
now where the hell am I?"

Then we went to the in-laws for dinner and they fed us yummy apple and berry strudel for desert.
It was a good day.

hope you're having a good one!

raining leaves

It's this time of year when all the beautifully coloured autumn leaves start collecting in the street gutters. Which is beautiful and wonderful, and really quite lovely, except for one thing: at some point it rains for a few days straight (it's doing it right now!) and all the lovely leaves start blocking drains and causing big puddles. They were fun for biking through on the way home from school as a kid, but they can cause some problems.

I am thankful for the rain though, my garden was in need of a good watering. My lavendar bushes are growing fantastically well, unfortunately so are the weeds, as I haven't had much of a chance to get rid of any with lots of assignments to do instead.

Right now, Miss S is out for a walk with her dad, enjoying the rain, while I'm puddling around at home in a quick break from assignment writing.

a rainbow of trackpants

I've been enjoying my holiday break so far, I've been getting a bit of study done, working on some assignments with some classmates, but between that I've been trying to relax a bit and chill out.


I've started making a few pairs of track-pants for Miss S, and it's been great to get some sewing done and just enjoy myself. One pair is complete and another half done, though I'll need some more elastic to finish the third pair. I'm just using the simplest of patterns based on another pair of pants we have for her to grow into, only two pieces of fabric with a fold over for the elastic at waist and ankles. They look like they'll be super cozy for winter, and of course super cute!

photos go on holiday

I'm so glad I'm finally on holiday, I'm in real need of a break, though I have plenty of assignments and readings to get done over my break.

I've been really enjoying taking photos lately, exploring my camera a bit, and I've finally worked out how to do the cool depth of field photos that are all over the place. Here's one of my sewing machine...


and one of Miss S's latest toy.


I took this third photo on our duck feeding trip last week of the sunshine sparkling in the paddling pool.


I've finally got a bit of sewing done, maybe more on that later. Enjoy your Easter weekend.

relaxing madness

I have had a crazy last couple of weeks with two assignments to get done and two tests to study for, but thankfully it's all over and I can relax a little. Unfortunately I'm quite sore from too much writing and stressing so can't really chill out by sewing, which is disappointing as I have far too many ideas floating around in my head wanting to get out, plus umpteen dozen works in progress. However to distract me from this sad state of affairs my bestest friend from high school is coming to town tomorrow and we're having a big random potluck dinner at my place to celebrate. This is her first visit home from London in two and a half years and it really has been far far too long. So tonight it'll be early to bed so I can rush around after uni tomorrow picking up pieces of house to make room for visitors. We're so excited!