Friday.
Hmmm.
It's beautifully sunny today.
But it's been a slow week, slow working week anyway, not much progress anywhere.
Despite not doing much I've still be rather sore, which doesn't help the inspiration.
Chipping away slowly on a couple of things.
I'd rather be sewing though.
I traced off Miss S's current pjs, and took a few dozen measurements (some I needed, some on request), so I should be able to upsize and alter it quickly enough. Maybe I'll do some of it this evening while The Hubster is out.
I'm off to do a little sewing to try and make myself feel better. I'll aim to get more done next week. Meet you back here on Monday for some goals, perhaps?
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Friday, 24 May 2013
Friday, 17 May 2013
Friday round-up
So it's Friday again. I meant to write this this morning (and hopefully motivate myself to get things done today) but it never managed to happen.
Right now dinner is cooking, Miss S is playing with fridge magnets, Miss A (who is tired but refusing to take a nap) is on my lap making cute noises at the computer, and The Hubster is out at youth group 35mins away.
So I haven't really managed to do anything today. My wrists are rather sore and I've been feeling a bit down, probably because I'm sore and not getting anything done.
So what Have I done this week?
Marked 13 assignments (2 to go).
Amalgamated two half-written essays into one (this still needs work, but it's starting to get some flow).
Done a little more on my ethics app, but am waiting to hear back from my supervisors about my interview questions.
Researched possible free-txt options for potential participants to contact me through.
Knitted another row on my hat, only to find I've not got enough yarn to do another row, let alone the five or six more I need to finish it.
Cut out another pair of trackpants for Miss A and a vest for Miss S (though discovered Miss S needs some new pjs more than anything, and wants some with feet).
Attempted to read my overdue library book which someone has put a hold on so I can't renew it.
The Hubster and I visited the school Miss S will be starting at in September.
I went for one walk (I had planned 3, but that didn't happen) and did two 5min ab workouts.
So maybe it has been a busy week after all. (justified tiredness?)
So next week?
Finish all the marking (there were possibly some late ones coming in).
Work more on the essay, perhaps even manage to get it to a stage where I might be able to show my supervisors.
Follow-up the free-txt thing.
I need to write a little bio thing for an article I'm getting printed within the psych department (I have NO idea what to include).
And maybe rest my wrists enough so that I can do some sewing. That would be nice.
... later in the evening, because I still haven't managed to finish this...
Miss S is negotiating with me about how long til bedtime. I said 10mins, she said she'd rather have 6. I agreed, but then she replied 'no, no, no, 7 minutes, no, 8 minutes!' 'Sure, darling.' :)
Right now dinner is cooking, Miss S is playing with fridge magnets, Miss A (who is tired but refusing to take a nap) is on my lap making cute noises at the computer, and The Hubster is out at youth group 35mins away.
So I haven't really managed to do anything today. My wrists are rather sore and I've been feeling a bit down, probably because I'm sore and not getting anything done.
So what Have I done this week?
Marked 13 assignments (2 to go).
Amalgamated two half-written essays into one (this still needs work, but it's starting to get some flow).
Done a little more on my ethics app, but am waiting to hear back from my supervisors about my interview questions.
Researched possible free-txt options for potential participants to contact me through.
Knitted another row on my hat, only to find I've not got enough yarn to do another row, let alone the five or six more I need to finish it.
Cut out another pair of trackpants for Miss A and a vest for Miss S (though discovered Miss S needs some new pjs more than anything, and wants some with feet).
Attempted to read my overdue library book which someone has put a hold on so I can't renew it.
The Hubster and I visited the school Miss S will be starting at in September.
I went for one walk (I had planned 3, but that didn't happen) and did two 5min ab workouts.
So maybe it has been a busy week after all. (justified tiredness?)
So next week?
Finish all the marking (there were possibly some late ones coming in).
Work more on the essay, perhaps even manage to get it to a stage where I might be able to show my supervisors.
Follow-up the free-txt thing.
I need to write a little bio thing for an article I'm getting printed within the psych department (I have NO idea what to include).
And maybe rest my wrists enough so that I can do some sewing. That would be nice.
... later in the evening, because I still haven't managed to finish this...
Miss S is negotiating with me about how long til bedtime. I said 10mins, she said she'd rather have 6. I agreed, but then she replied 'no, no, no, 7 minutes, no, 8 minutes!' 'Sure, darling.' :)
Friday, 26 April 2013
A couple of goals
I've been thinking a bit lately, and I've decided on two goals for myself.
Can I tell you a secret, interwebs? I know I'm doing a PhD in Psychology, and it's a big thing, but I don't want to do it for the rest of my life. When I left school I went and studied fashion design, psychology was my second choice. When I was 23 all my small joint problems became one big massive ball of chronic pain, and an insurmountable boulder in my path down a fashion career - everything I though I might enjoy involved handling stuff, and any kind of gripping, turning, holding, moving, repetitive action, particularly with my wrists and hands, was a big pain-inducer. So with much frustration and many tears I went back to learn something different.
I started studying psychology with the intention of doing a PhD and getting a job doing psychology in some form (not just using it as a base for work involving people in someway like a lot of people do with an undergrad psych degree). At that time, sewing had become a maybe 30mins once or twice a week thing, and in time I sold my three industrial sewing machines, my mannequin, and my patternmaking table. It was done with a lot of sadness and regret. And every now and then I would wake up from a dream doing my dream job as a patternmaker and I would wake up and cry because I STILL wanted to do it, even though my body was trying to tell me it was impossible.
So here I am six years later, and I've learned a LOT about managing my activities and pain. Sewing still hurts me, but I'm slowly learning how much I can do at a time, how much is sustainable. For a long time it wasn't just the pain holding me back, but that it tore at my heartstrings every time I sewed or designed something, knowing I couldn't do it as a larger part of my life, let alone a career. But I'm finding that I kind of NEED to make things, it helps keep me sane. And so with a bit of planning out and breaking things into small steps I'm starting to find a few things manageable. My sense of style requires that I make clothes for myself. My desire for quality clothing (and a very small budget) requires that I make clothes for myself (I am hopeless! at clothing shopping, everything seems so badly sewn or not quite right somehow). And I'm starting to think these things just might be possible.
So here's my goal: Be a patternmaker by the time I'm 50.
I turn 30 next year, so I have 20 years to figure it all out and slowly get there. I can use my psychology to support my family in the meantime.
When I was studying fashion design 10 years ago, small independent patternmakers didn't seem to exist, not that I knew of anyway. But I've seen a few start cropping up over the internet the last few years, so I've been starting to dream again. No rush, no hurry, but a small dream to work on in the background over the long-term.
Oh, and the other goal? To reshape my wardrobe so that I can be wearing skirts 5 days a week by the end of the year. I need a few more skirts for a start, but also more tops that work well with skirts.
Can I tell you a secret, interwebs? I know I'm doing a PhD in Psychology, and it's a big thing, but I don't want to do it for the rest of my life. When I left school I went and studied fashion design, psychology was my second choice. When I was 23 all my small joint problems became one big massive ball of chronic pain, and an insurmountable boulder in my path down a fashion career - everything I though I might enjoy involved handling stuff, and any kind of gripping, turning, holding, moving, repetitive action, particularly with my wrists and hands, was a big pain-inducer. So with much frustration and many tears I went back to learn something different.
I started studying psychology with the intention of doing a PhD and getting a job doing psychology in some form (not just using it as a base for work involving people in someway like a lot of people do with an undergrad psych degree). At that time, sewing had become a maybe 30mins once or twice a week thing, and in time I sold my three industrial sewing machines, my mannequin, and my patternmaking table. It was done with a lot of sadness and regret. And every now and then I would wake up from a dream doing my dream job as a patternmaker and I would wake up and cry because I STILL wanted to do it, even though my body was trying to tell me it was impossible.
So here I am six years later, and I've learned a LOT about managing my activities and pain. Sewing still hurts me, but I'm slowly learning how much I can do at a time, how much is sustainable. For a long time it wasn't just the pain holding me back, but that it tore at my heartstrings every time I sewed or designed something, knowing I couldn't do it as a larger part of my life, let alone a career. But I'm finding that I kind of NEED to make things, it helps keep me sane. And so with a bit of planning out and breaking things into small steps I'm starting to find a few things manageable. My sense of style requires that I make clothes for myself. My desire for quality clothing (and a very small budget) requires that I make clothes for myself (I am hopeless! at clothing shopping, everything seems so badly sewn or not quite right somehow). And I'm starting to think these things just might be possible.
So here's my goal: Be a patternmaker by the time I'm 50.
I turn 30 next year, so I have 20 years to figure it all out and slowly get there. I can use my psychology to support my family in the meantime.
When I was studying fashion design 10 years ago, small independent patternmakers didn't seem to exist, not that I knew of anyway. But I've seen a few start cropping up over the internet the last few years, so I've been starting to dream again. No rush, no hurry, but a small dream to work on in the background over the long-term.
Oh, and the other goal? To reshape my wardrobe so that I can be wearing skirts 5 days a week by the end of the year. I need a few more skirts for a start, but also more tops that work well with skirts.
Friday, 12 April 2013
The week past
It feels like it's been a rather unproductive week. I haven't done anything crafty since last weekend as my wrists have been recovering from doing a whole 2 rows of knitting. I am determined to finish that hat eventually, it looks awesome even only half done, but the needles are too small for my hands to be happy doing it. Sad that I love finer knitwork (though I also love fine wool knitted on chunky needles, so might just have to stick with that).
I have however managed to get through over half my marking, mostly done during Miss A's micro-naps. And been for three (yes 3!!!!) walks, one of which was the whole family and the other two just me and Miss A. None very long, but it's the getting out and moving that's the important bit at this stage. I've only had one day without a shower, even if yesterday's was in the evening after the girls were in bed. (Yay me! Celebrating the small things round here.)
Little Miss A is growing out of her 0-3 month clothes, so I burrowed through our under-1 box under her cot and found the next-size-up things. Yay for growing babies!
This of course means that I've found some gaps, like warm pants, that Just Need Filling. So my list of things to do keeps growing.
Onward!
I have however managed to get through over half my marking, mostly done during Miss A's micro-naps. And been for three (yes 3!!!!) walks, one of which was the whole family and the other two just me and Miss A. None very long, but it's the getting out and moving that's the important bit at this stage. I've only had one day without a shower, even if yesterday's was in the evening after the girls were in bed. (Yay me! Celebrating the small things round here.)
Little Miss A is growing out of her 0-3 month clothes, so I burrowed through our under-1 box under her cot and found the next-size-up things. Yay for growing babies!
This of course means that I've found some gaps, like warm pants, that Just Need Filling. So my list of things to do keeps growing.
Onward!
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Embracing motherhood
I'll say it straight out, I'm somewhat apprehensive about going back to fulltime PhD work on 1st May, but I'm doing some marking this week, so it's on my mind. Miss A will only be 3 months old and, unlike when I first became a mother four and a half years ago, I'm actually enjoying it and wanting to be with my baby.
With Miss S it was somewhat a relief to return to fulltime study when she was 6 months old. She had really bad silent reflux which was only just coming right after diet changes for me, and had long hated lying down as it made her uncomfortable and so therefore we didn't get much sleep. And I had No Idea what I was doing. I'm not really a natural baby or kid person. I had (pre- and) postnatal depression and really struggled with anxiety. So despite having to then express milk every break I got at uni, it was nice to get some semblance of normality and time to myself, and to have space to think about new things.
This time around I am much more confident in what I am doing. We've changed my diet straight away to help with the reflux (and the fact that we knew what to look for with reflux, or what reflux even was certainly helped!) and she's usually only waking once in the night for a feed. Daytime I'm much happier to go adventuring with baby (it helps that I can feed her Not Lying Down, like I still was with Miss S at this stage), and we invested in a good baby carrier to help things. She'll only catnap most days and want milk more often than I might like, which can lead to us all being rather tired by mid-afternoon when Miss S (who is endlessly busy and chatty) comes home from kindy. But she's usually good at getting herself off to sleep, which is such a relief after Miss S who would only sleep when upright.
I'm planning to work as much as I can from home, especially during kindy hours ;) but I'm really finding myself actually embracing motherhood, rather than just being a mother, this time around. So I'd like to somehow manage a more working-from-home style balance to things. I mean, I'm happy to express milk, but it takes large amounts of time and really hurts my wrists doing it constantly, so if I can do this less (or at least delay it) I'll be better able to do other things, like crafting which also kills my wrists but is so emotionally rewarding that it is worth the pain and then some, at least to a point.
At the moment the only problem with going back to fulltime work is, well, umm, the work, fitting it in during sleeps (which are far too short at the mo) and around cuddles. There's always things that need doing (or are maybe just preferable) at home. I might end up spreading my "40hr working week" over into evenings and weekends a little.
Speaking (typing?) of doing work, I should get back to my marking.
With Miss S it was somewhat a relief to return to fulltime study when she was 6 months old. She had really bad silent reflux which was only just coming right after diet changes for me, and had long hated lying down as it made her uncomfortable and so therefore we didn't get much sleep. And I had No Idea what I was doing. I'm not really a natural baby or kid person. I had (pre- and) postnatal depression and really struggled with anxiety. So despite having to then express milk every break I got at uni, it was nice to get some semblance of normality and time to myself, and to have space to think about new things.
This time around I am much more confident in what I am doing. We've changed my diet straight away to help with the reflux (and the fact that we knew what to look for with reflux, or what reflux even was certainly helped!) and she's usually only waking once in the night for a feed. Daytime I'm much happier to go adventuring with baby (it helps that I can feed her Not Lying Down, like I still was with Miss S at this stage), and we invested in a good baby carrier to help things. She'll only catnap most days and want milk more often than I might like, which can lead to us all being rather tired by mid-afternoon when Miss S (who is endlessly busy and chatty) comes home from kindy. But she's usually good at getting herself off to sleep, which is such a relief after Miss S who would only sleep when upright.
I'm planning to work as much as I can from home, especially during kindy hours ;) but I'm really finding myself actually embracing motherhood, rather than just being a mother, this time around. So I'd like to somehow manage a more working-from-home style balance to things. I mean, I'm happy to express milk, but it takes large amounts of time and really hurts my wrists doing it constantly, so if I can do this less (or at least delay it) I'll be better able to do other things, like crafting which also kills my wrists but is so emotionally rewarding that it is worth the pain and then some, at least to a point.
At the moment the only problem with going back to fulltime work is, well, umm, the work, fitting it in during sleeps (which are far too short at the mo) and around cuddles. There's always things that need doing (or are maybe just preferable) at home. I might end up spreading my "40hr working week" over into evenings and weekends a little.
Speaking (typing?) of doing work, I should get back to my marking.
Monday, 8 April 2013
A return
I've been thinking of reawakening my blog.
It's been a long time, but I feel like it might be a good thing to have a place to set goals and share the things I manage to get done.
I'm in quite a different place to a few years ago when I was last around here, but in some ways still similar, echoes of the past. I've had another baby and am about to be back full-time studying, and as ever I am trying to fit more crafting into my life while balancing the fact that crafting causes me pain (lack of crafting also causes me pain, but emotional/psychological rather than physical).
So goals for the next month/wee while?
1. do a little bit of something crafty every day. I have long skirts to make, clothes for Miss S (who's now 4!!), a bit of knitting that has been waiting to be finished for a few years that I am determined to get done.
2. Take photos more, of said craftiness, baby Miss A, not-baby Miss S, and other things that catch my eye.
3. My book pile is growing rather than being kept up with, so I want to be a bit more deliberate about it.
4. AND there's that pesky PhD to work on ;) Might do another post of goals for that one. Though I'm not officially back into it till 1 May, I'd like to be able to ease my way in.
To help enable number 1, I've got my sewing machine sitting out all the time, with the laptop away, instead of the previously usual other way around, though bits and pieces still need to be put away from curious little hands.
Another thought of getting back into blogging is to get myself writing more, even just blog posts, and to help myself 'think on paper/keyboard' again which will help my PhD writing.
We'll see how we go :)
It's been a long time, but I feel like it might be a good thing to have a place to set goals and share the things I manage to get done.
I'm in quite a different place to a few years ago when I was last around here, but in some ways still similar, echoes of the past. I've had another baby and am about to be back full-time studying, and as ever I am trying to fit more crafting into my life while balancing the fact that crafting causes me pain (lack of crafting also causes me pain, but emotional/psychological rather than physical).
So goals for the next month/wee while?
1. do a little bit of something crafty every day. I have long skirts to make, clothes for Miss S (who's now 4!!), a bit of knitting that has been waiting to be finished for a few years that I am determined to get done.
2. Take photos more, of said craftiness, baby Miss A, not-baby Miss S, and other things that catch my eye.
3. My book pile is growing rather than being kept up with, so I want to be a bit more deliberate about it.
4. AND there's that pesky PhD to work on ;) Might do another post of goals for that one. Though I'm not officially back into it till 1 May, I'd like to be able to ease my way in.
To help enable number 1, I've got my sewing machine sitting out all the time, with the laptop away, instead of the previously usual other way around, though bits and pieces still need to be put away from curious little hands.
Another thought of getting back into blogging is to get myself writing more, even just blog posts, and to help myself 'think on paper/keyboard' again which will help my PhD writing.
We'll see how we go :)
Saturday, 17 October 2009
neglected
My blog's been rather neglected this year, I've felt so busy with uni and motherhood. It's been a hard year and it's crazy that it's nearly over - exams in a week and a half. I've struggled this year, struggled to find time to relax, time to do hobbies I enjoy, time to try and remember who I am and who I'm trying to become. Some days I just carry on because that's all I know how to do. Miss S has been a wonderful blessing and joy in my life, an amazing bright spot in a world which sometimes seems too dark.
Monday, 6 July 2009
embroidered art
I decided to post my recent art after all. Somewhat hesitantly, but then, why not? As a disclaimer, I'm not suicidal, but I have been in the past, and have self-harmed in the past. I've found that getting these types of thoughts out as art helps them stay out of my head (which can only be a good thing). If these sort of images disturb you or prompt you to think in negative ways, please don't look, this is theraputic art for me and I don't want it to affect anyone negatively. So I've put a cute pic in to give you a bit of distancing.
These pictures were all done in soft coloured pencil on the thermal backing of an old curtain, and then embroidered with polyester thread.
contemplating death
suicide
self-harm
Any thoughts?
These pictures were all done in soft coloured pencil on the thermal backing of an old curtain, and then embroidered with polyester thread.
contemplating deathsuicideself-harmAny thoughts?
Saturday, 4 July 2009
cruisin' and crawlin'
I haven't been doing much lately, enjoying my holiday, and keeping Miss S out of trouble now that she's crawling and cruising around the house.
I've been doing a bit of drawing to keep myself entertained, though of rather emotive and heavy topics (suicide/self-harm), I won't post more than a detail here, showing of some of the embroidered detail work, but if you're interested, look me up as khhast on flickr.com
One week of holidays left, then I'm back into the study. I hope to keep a bit more creativity in my life this semester, but managing pain levels tends to be more important most of the time.
I've been doing a bit of drawing to keep myself entertained, though of rather emotive and heavy topics (suicide/self-harm), I won't post more than a detail here, showing of some of the embroidered detail work, but if you're interested, look me up as khhast on flickr.com
One week of holidays left, then I'm back into the study. I hope to keep a bit more creativity in my life this semester, but managing pain levels tends to be more important most of the time.
Monday, 30 March 2009
relaxing madness
I have had a crazy last couple of weeks with two assignments to get done and two tests to study for, but thankfully it's all over and I can relax a little. Unfortunately I'm quite sore from too much writing and stressing so can't really chill out by sewing, which is disappointing as I have far too many ideas floating around in my head wanting to get out, plus umpteen dozen works in progress. However to distract me from this sad state of affairs my bestest friend from high school is coming to town tomorrow and we're having a big random potluck dinner at my place to celebrate. This is her first visit home from London in two and a half years and it really has been far far too long. So tonight it'll be early to bed so I can rush around after uni tomorrow picking up pieces of house to make room for visitors. We're so excited!
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